Heading up North

We continued “trying” to get pregnant with the help of our Toledo RE but still no baby. By this time I had a handful of friends that were also getting medical assistance for unexplained infertility. We’d share updates with one another, laughs, scripture & prayers.  Oddly enough through our struggles I had developed a special bond with these ladies. Through one of these lovely ladies I had heard about the fertility program at U of M. She raved about how terrific it was. Now keep in mind Chad and I are OSU Buckeye fans through and through so crossing the border to our rival team could create a little tension. LOL!  We tossed the idea around for a month or so and prayed on it. Little hints of U of M began to arise, a commercial here, a U of M ring on a friend that I never noticed before, and maize and blue was popping up everywhere. It could have been my imagination but either way I felt really compelled to make the switch from Toledo to U of M. Chad agreed and we decided it was ok to have U of M help us bring some future Buckeye babies into this world. :-) Within the month we were on our way to our first appointment. We met with our doctor. She reviewed our background, discussed all of our options with us and gave us the recommendation of In Vitro Fertilization (aka IVF).  I remember walking out of the doctor’s office that day thinking “I never expected it to come to this”. The drive home Chad and I discussed IVF. He was all for it right out of the gate. I on the other hand was in turmoil evaluating if this type of medical intervention was too much. I mean God brings life into this world not doctors. Then there was the cost. It was a lot of money. To be honest it was going to be our entire savings. And one thing about me is that I’m a saver. I like to have a comfy cushion of "just in case funds" but if we went forward with IVF that would mean no more comfy cushion. There was the risk that we could make this huge investment and it might not work. Prior Chad and I have had countless discussions around adoption and we both have said that it’s something we would like to do at some point. So I then of course considered that we might be acting selfishly if we chose IVF over adoption. So I prayed on it. Chad and I talked through it (a lot). The scripture verse Ephesians 5:22 kept nagging at me “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church”. I used to think this verse was outdated until last spring at a Christian conference I discovered the true meaning. Not only does it mean to trust your husband to lead you and your family but you’re really trusting God to lead through your husband. To be candid I’m a bit of a control freak. So I typically tell Chad that I want him to lead but when it comes down him actually doing it I tend to step in and try to do it myself. I’ve realized that my behavior isn’t supportive and I strive to get better at it every day. Chad was so instantly convicted that this was the right path for us I needed to trust that it was God leading him to that decision. So it was decided…IVF was a go.